The Saturday My Toddler Evicted Me from My Own Living Room

My Saturday started with my 5-year-old waking me up at 7:00 a.m. by using me as his personal jungle gym. Climbing all over me like I’m a playground… when all I wanted was 30 more minutes of sleep. 😩

Then he demanded we play hide-and-seek.

“Okay… but I’m not leaving the bed, and I already know you’re under the covers.”

His response?

“Mom, use your imagination.” 😑

Somewhere between breakfast and my nail appointment, we officially became frenemies. He made a sign covered in scribbles, asked his dad how to make a giant ❌, and informed me that I’m not allowed in the living room because he’s banned from YouTube. 🙄

Sir…

You pay no rent.
No bills.
Your snacks are fully funded by me.

You’re literally my broke little bestie/enemy.

Meanwhile, I’m just trying to get ready for my nail appointment, squeeze in some breathwork, meditate for five minutes, and preserve what little sanity I have left.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart… especially when your 5-year-old walks around with the confidence of a grown man and the attitude of a teenager. 😂🤍

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