Holding On With Hope (Even When It's Heavy)

Before I vent, I want to begin with gratitude.
I'm grateful—truly—for the gift of health insurance that covers fertility treatments and provides support for medications. I know that not everyone has that, and I don’t take it for granted. I’m thankful for the chance to try again with IVF.

But can I just say... getting the medications approved was one of the most stressful experiences of this entire journey.

I was told I wasn’t part of the fertility solutions program, even though I’ve been enrolled since May 2025. Then I was told a letter needed to be faxed to the specialty pharmacy—only to find out they stopped sending those letters back in June. After a rollercoaster of calls and confusion, I was finally told the provider just needed to send over more information.

And then came the copay amount.
It almost took me out. I wasn’t prepared for how expensive it would be. But thanks to my support system, I was able to make it happen. I’m grateful—but I’d be lying if I said I’m not anxious.

I’m trying to stay positive and hopeful that this IVF cycle will be successful. But the weight is real.
I’m worried about the hormone injections.
I’m managing depression.
I’m navigating increased anxiety.

I feel like I’m juggling so many emotions at once—and I’m afraid to fumble.

I’m anxious with excitement. I’m praying and holding onto faith. I’m wishing for baby dust to come our way.

We’ve been trying for two years. That may not seem like a long time to some, but for us, it’s been filled with countless prayers, disappointments, and hope. Being told that my ovarian reserve is low for someone my age made me feel devastated… and then cautiously hopeful when IVF became a real option.

I remind myself:
We conceived our son unexpectedly. He was our first blessing.
And now, I’m praying that God finds us worthy of a second.

I believe it’s in His hands.
I pray He guides the doctors.
And I pray that even in the waiting, I don’t lose sight of the fact that God is more than able.

So as I wait for my cycle to begin—and prepare to call my fertility clinic—I’m holding tight to faith.
Because even tiny seeds of hope can grow into mighty miracles.