Sometimes My Five-Year-Old Needs Space Too

Nothing quite prepares you for being in a disagreement with your five-year-old.

Today, Myles did something he wasn’t supposed to do. Naturally, there were consequences. Equally naturally, he decided he was upset with me.

After we got home from an appointment, he marched into his room, turned on his TV, closed the door, and took some space.

And honestly? That’s okay.

As parents, it’s easy to assume that every difficult moment needs an immediate conversation, apology, or lesson. But children are people too. Sometimes they need a moment to sort through their feelings before they can process what happened.

What stood out to me wasn’t that he was upset. It was how he handled being upset.

A few months ago, that same frustration might have looked very different. There may have been tears, yelling, or an inability to move past the moment. Instead, he chose to step away, calm down, and return when he was ready.

That’s growth.

We often celebrate milestones like first words, learning to read, or riding a bike. But emotional growth deserves celebration too. Learning that it’s okay to feel angry, disappointed, or frustrated—and that those feelings don’t have to control our actions—is a skill many adults are still working on.

Watching him take that time for himself reminded me that emotional regulation isn’t about never feeling big emotions. It’s about learning healthy ways to navigate them.

And maybe there was a lesson for me in that moment too.

Sometimes growth as a parent means resisting the urge to chase after every closed door. Sometimes it means trusting that your child knows you’re there when they’re ready. Sometimes it means giving them the same grace and space we hope others will give us.

A little while later, he came back out.

The frustration had passed. The moment had passed.

And life moved on.

I’d call that growth—for both of us.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19