When Your Child Tries to Calm You Down

The other day MJ was home from school while I was working. Out of nowhere, he handed me his calm-down lava lamp and told me I needed to use it to help calm down.

I laughed and said, “I’m not even upset.”

He looked at me and said, “Well… your face looks mad.”

That stopped me in my tracks.

I cracked up and started shaking the calm-down tool right there at my desk. As soon as I did, he became interested again—watching it, touching it, leaning in. And that’s when I said, “Hmm… maybe you should use this when you need help calming down.”

At least he knows what the tools are for—even if he doesn’t think he needs them yet.

What struck me wasn’t just the humor of the moment (though that part still makes me laugh). It was the realization that our kids are always watching us. Not just when we’re intentional—but when we’re tired, distracted, stressed, or trying to hold it together.

Kids don’t just learn from what we tell them.
They learn from how we show up.

Even our faces speak.

In that small exchange, I was reminded that emotional regulation isn’t just something we teach—it’s something we model. And sometimes, the lesson comes back to us in the smallest, funniest, most humbling ways.

When your child starts parenting you…
That’s when you realize just how much they’re paying attention.

Kids are observant.
They’re sponges. 🧽

Reflection prompts:

• When was the last time your child reflected your emotions back to you?

• What tools are you modeling—intentionally or unintentionally?

• How do you want your child to learn emotional regulation by watching you?

Optional journaling line:

Today, I noticed my child learning from me when…